her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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