I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
