he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
