I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
