Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
