if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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