haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
