and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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