Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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