If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
