I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so let's talk penis.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
