Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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