When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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