We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
