I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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