shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
