Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
