Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
