OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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