You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
