1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
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