so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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