1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You're a waste of cheezeits
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
