I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
