I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
