It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
