Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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