I can tuck mytits in my pants
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
