check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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