I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
