I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize