accomplished twins. life is a go
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
