Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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