I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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