she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize