I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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