So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
