mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
