so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
