the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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