I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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