do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
