forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You can't just leave with hair like that
whose parrot is this?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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