It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
