..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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