I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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