Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
