The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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