So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
