It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
