You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize