Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
