u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
