Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
