also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize