Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
