i'm signing you up for texting rehab
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
