Pants 0. Shit 1.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize