First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
