People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize