I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
