i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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