so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
