I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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