i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
