she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Ladies don't puke and tell
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