I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
