He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
