Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize