My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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